I turned 29 today.

Over the past few days, I’ve been migrating my blog from Blogger to WordPress and scrubbing through every single archived post to ensure that the format doesn’t run.

I came across this post that I wrote when I was 22 going on 23 that made me laugh out loud. In some ways, I’ve grown so much since then. But in many other ways, I’ve also stayed exactly. the. same. I am still filled with angst, albeit probably not teenage anymore. I still emo to sad songs when I have nothing better to do. And I most definitely still binge K-dramas.

Today, nine years later, I for once want to take a more optimistic spin towards growing up. So here are the best parts of adulting, mel version.

1. Realising that your life belongs to you

Evidently, when I was 22 going on 23, I thought that I needed to achieve the typical things that society expects of us – having a stable career, getting married, buying a house, having kids. That belief led me to a couple of wrong turns but thankfully, I made those mistakes early and the consequences were not deadly – just tens of thousands of dollars and a few years of therapy, lmao.

Yet, each mistake led me to right where I am today. To this exact moment when I realise that I have the power to chart my own destiny. My life belongs to me. Not mum or dad (although I love and respect y’all very much), not some higher being, not my employer, not society. Not anyone but me.

2. Not giving a damn about what other people think

It took me so long to realise that my life belongs to me because I cared too much about what other people thought. I desperately craved to be loved and accepted that I behaved in ways that were a betrayal to myself.

I think becoming jaded about what other people think is a rite of passage for becoming an adult. You realise that it’s impossible for everyone to like you. You realise that people don’t even think about you that much; everyone is just busy with their own lives. That’s when you start becoming more true to yourself. What matters most is your own happiness and the few people that you truly care about. You’re not for everyone and that’s ok. It’s liberating.

That said, please have basic EQ!

3. Setting boundaries for yourself

I used to be exhausted, anxious and depressed all the time. The worst part? I never knew why. This year, I gained awareness of the things that affect my mental well-being. My social battery is one of them. Too much social interaction makes me feel unrested and anxious. That’s when I learned how to protect my own energy. To say no to people when I’m not feeling up for it. And to stay away from people who drain my energy. When making decision, I’ve learned to use this mantra that if it’s not a hundred percent yes, it’s a no.

4. Becoming besties with failure

The fear of failure is such a common thing. I saw this meme a couple of weeks ago that said, “What’s the biggest cause of divorce? Marriage!” You can’t get fail if you don’t try.

But a huge part of growing up is learning to laugh in the face of failure. You come to realise that IT IS SO COMMON. Everyone – literally everyone – has gone through failure. It’s a learning lesson! I recently read Eric Ries’ The Lean Startup and I love the idea of putting half-baked prototypes out there and learning along the way, rather than trying to build the perfect product and never finding the courage to launch it. I think it applies to life. You only get one shot. Stop waiting for that magical moment that probably isn’t going to come. Put yourself out there and learn along the way.

5. Having enough money to watch Taylor Swift’s concert

‘Nuff said. This final point alone makes adulting worth it.

Just two years ago, I didn’t think that I would make it to 30. Every single day felt too difficult to live. But here I am today, determined to wake up tomorrow and the day after so that I can make it to the Eras Tour HAHA.

Life is full of twist and turns.

And I’m thankful that in all of life’s chaos, I met you.