I read Warren Buffet’s farewell letter to his shareholders this morning with great interest. Not just because he’s one of the richest men on earth, but because when someone who has achieved everything you could only dream of speaks, you listen.

In his letter, he reflects on the people and experiences that have shaped him and his company. But what stayed with me were his concluding remarks.

One perhaps self-serving observation. I’m happy to say I feel better about the second half of
my life than the first. My advice: Don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes – learn at least a little from them and move on. It is never too late to improve. Get the right heroes and copy them. You can start with Tom Murphy; he was the best.

Remember Alfred Nobel, later of Nobel Prize fame, who – reportedly – read his own obituary
that was mistakenly printed when his brother died and a newspaper got mixed up. He was horrified at what he read and realized he should change his behavior.

Don’t count on a newsroom mix-up: Decide what you would like your obituary to say and
live the life to deserve it.

Greatness does not come about through accumulating great amounts of money, great amounts
of publicity or great power in government. When you help someone in any of thousands of ways, you help the world. Kindness is costless but also priceless. Whether you are religious or not, it’s hard to beat The Golden Rule as a guide to behavior.

I write this as one who has been thoughtless countless times and made many mistakes but
also became very lucky in learning from some wonderful friends how to behave better (still a long way from perfect, however). Keep in mind that the cleaning lady is as much a human being as the Chairman.

Just fifteen minutes before reading this, I was filling up my Organisational Climate Survey. It reminded me that one of my greatest frustrations with the civil service, with Singaporean culture in fact, is its performative culture.

In every society or organisation, there is an archetype that members should strive to emulate. In Singapore, it’s having the 5Cs (for cash, car, credit card, condominium, and country club in the 90s; perhaps now it’s crypto, career, contentment, coffee, and corgi). In the civil service, it’s the dutiful conformists and the KPI keepers who are brilliant on paper and blameless in meetings.

Success is measured by how well you fit these archetypes. And if you make a mistake, be prepared to be banished (or cancelled), at least for awhile.

In my opinion, this type of culture kills authenticity, breeds narcissism, and lulls people into mediocrity. Sure, there is some basic social decorum expected of every member of society. But to me, it’s extremely dishonest to glorify polish over depth, and performance over character.

Buffet’s letter made me reflect on my own life, and the many times that I unwittingly slipped into this performative mindset. The times when I took on projects that I couldn’t give two hoots about just because they looked good on the resume. The times when I paraded my relationships on social media when they were, frankly, shriveling inside. The times when I forgot to pause and acknowledge others, because I was chasing deadlines.

It’s hard not to fall into this mindset, when it has become the basis in which society functions. It’s hard to find the courage to walk out of step with everyone else.

But what Buffet said uplifts me.

Greatness is not achieved through wealth, fame, or power. And surely, it is not achieved by trying to impress others.

At the end of the day, the only person’s judgement that matters is your own.

And I promise you, it’s not the envy of others that you will care about. It’s the quiet confidence that you have led a good and authentic life.